if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
