yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I lost the right to judge tonight
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
