She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
