you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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