We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize