lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize