woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
