wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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