Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
