so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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