your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
