You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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