ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize