Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
