My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize