I heard we made out
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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