I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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