Duck Duck Cougar?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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