okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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