I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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