Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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