dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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