my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm experimenting with sincerity
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
