What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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