Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
