You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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