whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Send help, water and tortillas.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
