Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
