Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
