just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
