Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
