I murdered the dance floor call the cops
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
