It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
