Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize