nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
