so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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