We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
