I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
