Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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