hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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