She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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