i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
