he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
