He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
