ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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