You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
