Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
