Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
