So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
