If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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