College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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