i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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