if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
party gras won. party gras always wins.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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