Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize