Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
