I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
