i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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