just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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