You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize